Mr Cellophane

My entire life was spent trying to fathom him. To me, he is someone that I truly fear yet respect. He is like a mysterious author who conveys messages indirectly and discreetly and to fully understand his "hidden message", readers have to read between the lines. I have studied him like a book and have failed miserably to understand him. Over the years, the constant attempts to dissect his mysterious motives have sharpened my abilities to see right through people. Most people, in general, are easy and they are basically what they show themselves to be; no hidden messages whatsoever. Some people try to convey a message discreetly but fail terribly as I scrutinize and peel the mask that covers them. He, is however a tough riddle to crack. He is very intelligent and very inconsistent with his actions, like a general who never uses the same strategy at war.

Just yesterday, my mum made a comment about a friend who is living close to Mount Vernon. The words "Mount Vernon" immediately reminded me of my late grandfather who was cremated there 15 years ago.

He has always been a very filial son and who has always preached about being grateful and I knew then that the words "mount Vernon" must have struck a chord in his head, but I wasn't sure. It might just be another failed attempt to decipher him, and I found myself wondering if he was reminded of his late father and if he would take time out of his extremely busy schedule to pay his respect, something that he has not done in a long time. I thought then that I would never find out since he was not known for showing his emotions.

Later on that day, my mum received a phone call from my dad asking us if we wanted to go visit the "old man", an endearing term that he uses whenever he refers to his dad. I let a smile slipped though my mouth as though I had solved a very difficult riddle. Is this finally a start to a brand new era, or is this the beginning to an end? Did I finally break the code? Am I finally getting to know him? Or has old aged changed the way he think? Is he becoming more straightforward at conveying his messages?

I always thought that life is like composing music. When people are fairly young and the musical composition of their lives is still in its opening bars, it is hard to predict what goes into the writing of the song. However, as one gets older, their musical composition is complete, and every motif, every word is exposed. Maybe my dad's musical composition is finally complete.

Crystal Clear

As I sat on the sand after work watching the thundering waves hit the shore and the sun setting into the horizon, I rested my head on the sand to enjoy the sea breeze against my face. I opened my eyes to the best sight ever; a perfectly evenly colored blue sky. I stared at the vast blueness in front of me for a very long time. It was clear, untarnished, so simple and blue, and so beautiful, yet no one sees or appreciates it. Everyone is too involved with the people around them, they can't see the finer beauty in life. It dawned upon me that these people need to take a step back and look at things from a different angle so that they can see things clearly and understand it all.

The end of year 2007

The final leg of 2007 went by in a whirl. I was so caught up with school, moving into my new apartment, waitressing, babysitting and catching up with friends that I've neglected "me" time. I spent most of the days in December frantically typing on my laptop, blabbering about theories that made sense to me then, and speed-reading 600 pages in less than 36 hours. I have never felt my eyes so sore and my brain so drained at the same time. After 18 years of taking countless exams, I no longer worry about not remembering anything just before my exam because I know I can count on the phenomenal function of my brain to remember stuff when it is time for it to. It's almost like deja voo.


Spending the last week of December with my family almost everyday was a good change in pace and a chance for us to finally spend quality time together. The last time I actually had dinner with my dad everyday for three consecutive days was probably 10 years ago when we went on a vacation together. I've never woken up with my dad in the same vicinity or go to bed knowing that he's still awake. This time, we also spoke about different things on a different level. Maybe it is his age catching up with him and he feels the need to be more understanding, or perhaps I've learnt the art of expressing my provoking thoughts subtlety so that my conservative dad can digest them, but whatever it is, it is working well, and we spoke more than we ever did in the last 6 years. I feel that over the last 6 months, I've grown to be more understanding and compassionate and I try to put myself in someone else's shoes before passing a judgement. I've learnt to reassess situations and weigh the consequences, and I've also learnt to tell myself NO and to refrain myself from doing things that will give me temporary satisfaction but can potentially be detrimental in the long run. Sometimes all it takes is for something to go right before everything else falls into place.

Life is like a riddle. You collect clues along the way that will lead you to the right answer.