Mind over matter

Something I learnt in my yoga class today about love and ego:

Filling yourself with love, is not done by being some special and receiving love, but by being an empty vessel, stripping yourself of your ego and filling the empty vessel up with God's love.

I hope I do not sound like I belong to some freakish cult or something, but Yoga has really thought alot about myself and living life. It has given me strength when I am weak, and has guided me to light when I am in darkness.

I have always had the fear of doing a headstand. Almost two years of on-off yoga and I have never ever come close to attempting to do one because I was afraid of falling. I will just sit around and watch my classmates do an effortless headstand. Last week, Amy the Yogi instructor came over and asked if I wanted to try, and she showed and guided me through the initial steps I had to take before I actually lift my legs off the ground. I didn't try an actual headstand but it was a step closer. After that attempt, I teared. I wasn't sure why I teared, but I think I was grateful for her guidance. I thought back about how I lived my life in the past and realized that I was never guided along the way. Sometimes I feel very lost and my mind very cluttered, and sometimes all I needed was guidance; someone to take my hand and lead me to light, but there was never anyone to show me the way. What Amy did, although in a different context was what I really need in life. I need guidance. I wonder if my friends have ever had guidance, or if they are as lost as I am. Maybe they had their parents or siblings to guide them through life. What about someone who has absolutely no one to show them the right direction? How do they make decisions? Is this when God comes into play?

Today, another yogi instructor came up to me and asked if I wanted to try a headstand as she saw how I sat and watched everyone do one. She said "Don't let this be a barrier... I'll help you." and she did. I lifted my legs off the ground and found that 1 second of balance before my legs started wobbling again. It was the most accomplished feeling ever and it really really made my day.